


But He Didn't

by kugashuu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 00:02:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kugashuu/pseuds/kugashuu
Summary: Mingyu is absolutely certain Wonwoo will never leave his side.





	1. past and the present

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted from aff again lol
> 
> i wrote this in 2014

Mingyu was 4 and Wonwoo was 5 when they first met at the playground of the kindergarten. Mingyu was that obnoxious new kid who's eager to fit in, and Wonwoo was that one quiet kid who only talks when necessary. They bumped into each other on the slide harder than needed, Mingyu the culprit but he didn't bother to offer an apology, because he didn't want to be called weak on his second day by his new friends. And so he laughed and ignored the older boy sitting on the ground with a scratch on his elbow, opting to join the other boys in a game of tag instead. Wonwoo stared after him, a little bit hurt over not being able to hear a sorry, but let it go because he didn't want to cause any trouble.

A week later and Mingyu had seemingly forgotten about that incident already, when the doorbell rang during dinner and his dad stood up to open the door. He peek his head out and saw a family of three, parents and a young son holding a basket of freshly baked blueberry muffins that even he can smell all the way from his place on the dinner table. He turned around and came face to face with a boy around the same age as him, smooth black hair and small, yet sharp eyes that just makes him supposedly look a lot colder for a boy that age. 

"Mingyu, this is Mr. and Mrs. Jeon, along with their son, Wonwoo. He's only a year older than you, so I think there should be no problems for you two to become friends. They were nice enough to join us for dinner today to welcome us to the neighborhood." His dad introduced everyone and Mingyu smiled politely, though his eyes remained on Wonwoo's face. It wasn't until the other felt growingly uncomfortable and turned away that Mingyu noticed the band-aid on his elbow. Then he remembered. It was that same boy whom he had bumped into at the playground, yet he ignored in favor of his new friends. Mingyu felt awkward at the situation; half of him wanted to say "sorry", and half of him prayed that Wonwoo wouldn't bring it up during dinner, because it'll just be awkward if his parents ended up questioning him about it.

He ended up ignoring him again.

Throughout the entire night, Wonwoo didn't talk much, something that Mingyu really appreciated. Their parents were clicking with each other very well, which is probably a good thing to come out of this. He had been expecting the meal to be over and the Jeons to leave after, but his mom then called him over and told him to play with Wonwoo while their parents continue to talk. Mingyu wanted to refuse, but he also didn't want to say no to his mom. With a reluctant hand, Mingyu led Wonwoo up to his room, where all the action figures and video games were at. For the longest time, he just stood by his bed while the other boy looked through the stack of games, the silence getting even more awkward as time went by. Finally unable to stay quiet any longer, Mingyu muttered softly, hoping that Wonwoo wouldn't catch what he said.

"I'm, uh, sorry for bumping into you last week. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay, I'm fine." The older smiled, a rare smile after a long while as he holds up a familiar disk. Mingyu saw that it was Super Mario Bros. "Can we play this?"

It was the first time Mingyu thought Wonwoo was actually kind of cute.

And the blueberry muffins were amazingly delicious.

\-----

Mingyu was 8 when he discovered that Wonwoo might actually be really, really scared of birds.

They were walking home together from school when both saw a flock of birds flying around the water fountain. Mingyu had intended on commenting about how cute they are and was about to give them some of his leftover food, when a pair of hands shot out and grabbed his arm tight. There was Wonwoo, looking terrified for the first time ever since Mingyu knew him, and holding on to Mingyu's arm for dear life. 

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Mingyu was concerned. Maybe Wonwoo wasn't feeling okay.

"Can we just go past the birds? Or even another direction? Please?" Wonwoo begged, fear evident in his voice. Mingyu looked back and forth at Wonwoo and the birds, before a lightbulb went up in his head, sending him almost doubling over due to laughing too hard.

"Hyung, you can't possibly be scared of them, right?" As if to confirm Mingyu's suspicion, Wonwoo's face blushed a deep shade of crimson. The taller boy did nothing but laughed even harder, tears coming out of his eyes.

"Oh my god, the almighty Jeon Wonwoo is scared of birds. Oh my god. I can't believe this."

"Shut up." 

Wonwoo pouted and punched Mingyu's arms, moving away from the boy while making sure that he was keeping a safe distance from the birds. When Mingyu showed no sign of stopping, he huffed and threw a piece of bread at the latter's head before running home, trying not to scream as he ran pass the fountain. Mingyu looked up a few moments later, though Wonwoo was already gone from his sights by then.

"Hyung, wait for me!"

It took Mingyu a few days and lots of vanilla ice cream for Wonwoo to stop being mad at him, but hey, at least it's better than having to walk alone everyday.

He cried silently over the loss of his weekly allowance money though.

\-----

Mingyu was 13 when he was first aware of what jealousy is.

He didn't know why, but he found himself hiding behind the door of Wonwoo's classroom, heart constricting at he watched Wonwoo talking to a female classmate. He was angry, perhaps. Angry at the thought of his best friend liking another person and leaving his side. From all the gossips going around, he recognized that girl as Wooju noona; pretty, smart, and did made it pretty obvious that she likes Wonwoo. He didn't like it. Wonwoo had always been with him, and Mingyu wasn't ready for it to break. What if Wonwoo liked Wooju like how Wooju liked him? Mingyu is honestly very scared at the thought. He didn't mention it to Wonwoo after school, but a part of him was feeling uneasy and nervous over whether or not Wooju is going to confess to the boy next to him.

Some other few days passed by, and Mingyu was surprised to find Wonwoo staring down at him during lunch, smiling sheepishly as he hold an ice pack to his head. The boy dropped down next to Mingyu tiredly, mumbling something about girls and the world.

"What's wrong? And what happened to your head anyway?"

"Nothing much, I guess. Or well, Wooju confessed to me today." Wonwoo sighed.

Mingyu almost choked on the kimbap he was eating, but swooped down a huge mouthful of water to regain his composure. He pretended as if he wasn't annoyed and casually carried on with the conversation like nothing is wrong. "Oh really? Did you accept her confession?"

"I rejected her, actually." Wonwoo laughed, eyes closing as he applied pressure to his head, hoping for the pain to subside a little bit. "She got angry and pushed me, I tripped and hit my head against the door, and this happened as you can see."

Mingyu wasn't going to lie, he felt incredibly happy after hearing those words coming out from Wonwoo's mouth. Wonwoo wasn't going to leave him just yet. He will still be his best friend, still his partner-in-crime. Mingyu is satisfied for now, though he was curious about one thing.

"Why did you reject her? Wooju noona is pretty, anyone would've accepted in a heartbeat."

"I have someone I like."

"Who?"

"It's a secret."

"But-"

"I'm not telling you."

Maybe Mingyu's worries weren't over yet. Not so fast.

\-----

One day in the spring of Mingyu's 16th year living in the world, he decided that Wonwoo gets to be the person that he can share his deepest secret with. The two boys agreed to meet at their usual hiding place, one that they've been sharing since they were toddlers.

Wonwoo was already waiting when Mingyu got there, tapping his feet while browsing through his phone in boredom. Mingyu suddenly felt anxious, nervous, and wanted to chicken out of this meeting. He was afraid of Wonwoo's reactions. He doesn't know how the elder would react. In all honesty, he's terrified. It's a big thing, and he may just lose someone important to him.

At the end, it took Wonwoo countless questions and confrontations and even threats before Mingyu stopped beating around the bush and blurted out the one thing he has been keeping hidden for so long.

"I like boys, hyung. In a romantic way."

There he goes.

Mingyu waited in silence, an agonizing one. He waited and waited, yet Wonwoo's expressions barely even change. As he tries to keep his emotions from bursting out inside of him, Mingyu can already tell what will happen. Wonwoo calling him disgusting, Wonwoo staying away from him, Wonwoo cutting off their friendship forever....

But none of it happened.

Instead, Mingyu found himself in a big hug from the shorter male. He's surprised at the warm droplets of water he felt on his shoulder.

"...Wonwoo hyung?"

And in a surprising twist of events Wonwoo started to pour out all of his thoughts, how he had been liking boys for the longest time, how he wanted to tell Mingyu about everything but was afraid the boy would be repulsed by him. Everything and anything in Wonwoo's mind, he said it all. They ended up hugging each other and crying their hearts out, but both of them knew they were relieved they've got everything sorted and there was nothing to hide.

Of course, having a honest talk to both of the parents wasn't easy. They were all surprised and shocked like Mingyu and Wonwoo had expected them to be because what parent wouldn't, let's be real. At least there wasn't any extreme negative reaction, which the two teenagers can deduce that nothing too bad would happen. They hope.

They snuck out for a late ice cream date later that night (Wonwoo's treat) and talk, even if it was just Mingyu assuring Wonwoo that their parents won't be too mad at them, and will accept it eventually. Wonwoo isn't too optimistic about the situation, but knows he'll be okay with Mingyu next to him. He slipped his hand on top of the younger and smiled while eating his ice cream. Mingyu couldn't help but stare at the elder, glad that his blushing cheeks can't be seen in the darkness.

"Ah, why are you staring at me like that? A picture last longer. Eat your ice cream too, it's melting." Wonwoo complained and looked away, though Mingyu didn't fail to notice the slight amusement in the other's voice.

He also didn't fail to notice how his heart just skipped a beat.

\-----

It took Mingyu another year to realize that his feelings for Wonwoo goes beyond loving your best friend, and two more years passed before he finally acted on it.

Still an eager first year college student with a lot to learn, Mingyu was estatic when Wonwoo offered to have him move in and share the rents, since they were both going to the same university anyway, albeit different majors. All he had to do was pay half of the rent every month and do his part of the chores, and at the same time he gets to spend even more time with the boy he loves. It was a fantastic offer, and Mingyu agreed without a second thought.

It turned out to be harder than he thought.

The thing is, Wonwoo's got these little habits that he always does everyday, and while it appears normal to some, Mingyu was having a difficult time restraining himself. From the elder's lipbites whenever he had to do a hard homework to how he liked to wear shirts than can ride up easily, Mingyu was the one who witnessed them all. He was frustrated, but he held back his desires. This is where Mingyu's insecurity gets in his way of him being able to do anything properly in terms of his hidden love. He knows Wonwoo doesn't have a boyfriend, but it's not like that means he has a chance either. Wonwoo probably doesn't even consider him as a potential romance target. All of these questions surrounded Mingyu's mind, causing him to stay up more often than he should be as he contemplated his ongoing bad luck. Wonwoo always asked him why he had dark circles under his eyes, to which he just replied that it was due to stress. How could he say that the reason for his lack of sleep was due to the one person who was asking him this question every single morning? Come on now. He may be reckless and impulsive at times, but he wasn't gonna be risking his and Wonwoo's friendship.

This whole cycle went on for another few months until Christmas rolled in. Since both of them were pretty busy and probably won't be able to make it home, they decided to spend the holiday together in their little apartment. The two decorated the place with holly wreaths, candy canes, and even a cheap Christmas tree that Mingyu spotted at a thrift store. Their plan was to lie down on the couch the whole day, sipping on steaming hot chocolate while browsing through a huge collection of old movies that Wonwoo just so happened to carry along with him when he moved out. It was simply perfect, and maybe it could even be better if Mingyu can man up and confess.

The day went by pretty well, and they were into their 6th movie when Wonwoo suddenly turned to face Mingyu, pausing the movie along the way.

"Mingyu."

"Yeah?" Said person blinked, confused as to what's going on. "Hyung, we're about to get to the good scene. Give me the remote." Mingyu leaned over to grab the object out of Wonwoo's hand, but the elder dodged successfully, setting it down on the table instead.

"Not until you do this first."

"Do what?"

"Kiss me"

"Hyung, what is the meaning of this?" Mingyu laughed, slightly taken aback at the suggestion. Yeah sure he's been dreaming of kissing the older boy for ages now, but why Wonwoo would be bringing this up is what he's puzzled about.

"Don't question it." Wonwoo huffed, crossing his arms while pouting like a little child. Mingyu felt a surging urge to grab the elder and kiss the living life out of him.

"Are you positive about wanting me to kiss you?

"If I wasn't would I be asking you right now?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you." With that being said, Mingyu pushed forward and pressed his lips against Wonwoo's very own, hands on his side to prevent the elder from escaping. He didn't know why Wonwoo was doing this, but he figured it was best to go with the flow. Besides, chances like this don't come often. He had initially expected Wonwoo to push him away after a few minutes and laugh it off, just so he could do the same thing and ignore the fact that the other probably didn't feel anything from the moment they just shared together. To his surprise though, Wonwoo's arms came up to rest on his shoulders instead, pulling him down until they were both in a lying position on the couch. The kiss was gentle, nothing too fast nor rough, but both of them can feel what the other wanted to convey.

Mingyu was the first to pull away due to the lack of air, and as he stared down at Wonwoo, who was as equally flushed and breathless like him, he can't find anything to say other than "What?". He wants to think that Wonwoo feels the same as he does, but he doesn't want to be too certain.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes at Mingyu's clueless face.

"Goddamnit, Kim Mingyu. I thought I can show you my bottled up feelings for six years through that kiss, but that's all you can say to me?" When Mingyu continued to show no response, Wonwoo sighed in defeat and pulled the taller boy down again until their lips were merely centimeters away. He smiled warmly and opted to kiss the other's nose instead.

"If you still don't get it, dumbass, I love you. Now kiss me more."

Needless to say, Mingyu was more than happy to comply.

\-----

Mingyu was 23 when he realized that Wonwoo can be pretty jealous if he wants to. But hey, it really wasn't that big of a deal.

It all started when he got a little bit too touchy with another male coworker, and Wonwoo just happened to be there to witness it all. He didn't intend for it to happen, really, but Seungcheol was closer than he wanted to. Being the nice person that he is, Mingyu didn't have the heart to refuse the older man. However, Wonwoo got off of his shift early from the pediatrician's office that one day, and dropped by right at the moment when Seungcheol was wrapping his arms around Mingyu's waist, a typical action that the latter was already so used to, and hence didn't complain about it. Wonwoo was obviously not happy though, and left immediately before Mingyu could spot him.

The younger came home later that night to his boyfriend pouting and angrily eating out of a tub of ice cream, blanket wrapped around him with a drama playing on the TV. Mingyu didn't know what was wrong, but his boyfriend instinct told him that he should probably go and comfort Wonwoo. He gently put down his stuff and closes the door before sitting down on the couch, stroking Wonwoo's hair.

To his surprise, he was pushed away.

"Go away" Wonwoo said softly, "I don't want to talk to you right now."

"But you are talking to me, aren't you?" Mingyu cheekily replied, but stopped when he saw Wonwoo directing a glare at him. He scooted closer and tried to cuddle the older boy, though he was completely ignored.

"Look, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I'm gonna have to kiss it out of you." Before Wonwoo could even react, he felt himself being pushed down on the couch, with Mingyu hovering above him. And what even happened to the ice cream tub anyway?

"Mingyu, I said n-" He didn't even get a chance to finish his sentence, not with Mingyu on top of him, kissing him, burning his skin with every touch and making his rationale go weak. Curse the damn bastard. Wonwoo hits the latter's shoulders weakly with the intention of getting him off but eventually yielded to the amazing pressure, wrapping his arms around the other's neck instead.

Just as things were getting heated up, Mingyu pulled away with a smirk on his lips and sat up straight on the sofa. Wonwoo blinked, bewildered and was about to tug Mingyu down again when he was stopped by a finger on his lips.

"If you want more, you'll have to tell me why you're angry." Mingyu sing-songed, knowing that Wonwoo was rather turned on right now and would do anything to get into bed. After all, it has happened before. More importantly, he was genuinely worried for the older boy, and wanted to share the burden even for just a little.

Wonwoo blushed a shade of crimson and looked away, fiddling with his fingers. Now that he thought about it, it was such a stupid reason to get mad over because Mingyu loves him as much as he love the taller boy, if not more. He didn't have any explanation as to why he was so jealous, but maybe it was the fact that deep inside his mind, he only wants Mingyu to look at him.

"Well... you... that guy... at work... he... hugged... you" Wonwoo mumbled under his breath, but it didn't stop Mingyu from hearing it, a wide smile on his face when he realizes what his boyfriend was talking about.

"Are you telling me that you're jealous right now, Jeon Wonwoo?" That's the cutest." Mingyu laughed, reaching out to pull Wonwoo on his lap.

"It's not cute being jealous. I don't like it when other people touch you except for me. I only want you. I don't like feeling jealous. None of that is cute." Wonwoo pouted even more, curling up against the blanket that he was holding earlier.

"You shouldn't have to worry about any of that," Mingyu kisses his boyfriend's cheek before picking him up and heading to the bedroom. "As long as I'm still living in this world, you'll be the only person that I'll ever love with all my heart. Except for my family, but you know what I mean."

"Cheesy." Wonwoo smiled, snuggling up to the other's warmth. "But I love it, and I love you."

"I love you too. And for the record, I wasn't pleased with that doctor dude trying to squeeze the life out of you either."

"Huh??"

\-----

Mingyu is 27 now, and he really, really wants to marry Wonwoo. 

It has yet to come up in their daily conversations, but he wants it, and he knows Wonwoo wants it too. They've been dating for so long, and to Mingyu, it was only natural that the next step was marriage. It doesn't even have to be a grand wedding at the church with flowers and balloons, nor a spectacular reception at a luxurious hotel. Even a small dinner among the two families would suffice. None of it matters as long as he can be together with Wonwoo.

With that being said, after working his ass off and saving up enough money for a ring, along with getting permission from Wonwoo's parents, Mingyu is ready to propose to the love of his life. He didn't have any plan on making his proposal big anyway, not with the budget he has, and to be honest, he thinks that nothing is more important than the sincerity of the message. Plus, even though Wonwoo is a self-proclaimed fan of all things romantic, he had never been one for complexity. Mingyu knows Wonwoo will still love it no matter what kind of method he uses to propose. 

He just can't wait to see the surprise on Wonwoo's face.


	2. my future is with you

Christmas is finally around and their anniversary is just a few days away, which made Mingyu even more anxious. He had his plans set out and he knew exactly what to do for his proposal, but now that the date is approaching, he couldn't help but sense worry and insecurity creeping up on him. What if his plans fail? What if Wonwoo doesn't like it? What if Wonwoo doesn't want to marry him anymore? Gosh, he doesn't even want to think about it. 

Another week passed by and the big day is here. Wonwoo said that he'd be working quite late since most of the employees at the office went on a vacation, which gives Mingyu more time to perfect his proposal. Mingyu himself asked for a day off work under the excuse of coming down with a terrible cold. To be fair, he didn't plan anything big, just a dinner with candles and his own homemade cake that he spent 5 weeks learning under his sister's instructions. He'd probably just pop the question after dessert. It's rather simple and perhaps a bit cliche, but Wonwoo is surely going to be emotional. A smile appeared on Mingyu's face as he imagines how the night will go before his phone rings, snapping him out of his fantasy. The caller's ID flashed on the screen and Mingyu smiles again as he picks up the call.

"Hey, baby. Happy anniversary."

"Ah, I told you to not call me baby!" The voice on the other line nagged, although Mingyu can tell that his boyfriend is definitely flustered and is probably blushing as he speaks.

"How is work? Is everything alright over there?" Mingyu puts the phone on speaker as he rummages through the refrigerator to see what he should cook. Loud cries and screams could be heard, which makes him a bit worried. He doesn't want Wonwoo to overwork himself, especially not on this special day.

"We're fine, I think. I mean, they told me to take a break but we're so low on manpower I don't think I can afford to do so. You know it's the season for children to be sick and getting cold, and then we have fussy impatient parents to boot" Mingyu suddenly heard someone calling Wonwoo back to work and he thinks it's probably his cue to hang up soon.

"Sorry, Mingyu. We're so busy today. I'm gonna have to work late but I'll see you tonight." Wonwoo hurriedly spoke, sounding a bit apologetic over ending the conversation early.

"Hey, it's fine. You have a job to do. Get home safely though, it's snowing and the roads are dangerous to travel on. See you later, love. I love you."

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"Mingyu, I'm hanging up."

"Okay, okay." Mingyu laughs, ending the phone call while feeling even more happy and excited about the night. Ahhh, maybe he's just too deep in love.

\-----

"Finally done. That took so much time!" Mingyu takes a step back and admires his hard work, wiping the sweat off with the sleeve of his shirt. Candles have been lit, the lighting suits the mood, dinner is all set to go and the cake is chilling in the fridge. He even has the perfect playlist to top it all off. Needless to say, he did encounter some troubles like almost burning down the food and messing up the frosting, but everything ended well and now all he has to do is to wait for Wonwoo to come home. He prances around the kitchen impatiently, tapping his feet to the sound of the clock ticking. It's only been five minutes but it feels like forever.

Mingyu's phone finally rings, its owner bolting to the living room to get it. He had expected Wonwoo's familiar voice to pick up, but an unknown sound was on the other side of the speaker instead, causing Mingyu to stop in his track.

"Is this a close family of Jeon Wonwoo?"

"Yes, I'm his boyfriend. Why?" A shiver ran down Mingyu's spine, and at that moment, he prayed to gods it wasn't what he was thinking about.

"The thing is..."

What happens next is a frantic chaos. Mingyu's face is visibly pale as he grabs his car keys and runs faster than a mad man could ever have. He hastily puts on his seatbelt and slams on the brake, almost crashing into a tree on his way out. The ring that was meant for Wonwoo is in the back pocket of his jeans, but that's the least of Mingyu's worries right now. He was certain that he went way over his speed limit and even drove past a couple of red lights, but all of that can be dealt with later.

Mingyu arrives at the hospital and he runs to the front desk, shakily breathing out the name "Jeon Wonwoo". He's directed to the operating room, scared and nervous and absolutely terrified. He knows that Soonyoung, a close friend of theirs, work at this hospital, and by large chance he's the one currently operating on Wonwoo. The door is closed and anyone with common sense knows that they can't just barge in while an operation is going on, so he sits outside, shaking his head and trying to think of happy things, anything that could calm his nerves. Wonwoo is strong, he can make it through this, he has to. Mingyu is horrified at the thought of spending the rest of his life without his love, but he can't assume the worst when he doesn't even know what will happen, so he waits.

Two hours later, he actually counted, and the door opens to reveal an exhausted Soonyoung. The surgeon wipes the sweat off of his forehead and doesn't even have time to breathe when Mingyu is all up in his face, desperate to hear a good sign, any good sign.

"Mingyu..."

"Hyung, before I go crazy, please tell me what happened. I need to know. Is he okay? Is Wonwoo okay? Did anything wrong happen? Please."

"Mingyu, listen to me." Soonyoung puts a hand on the taller boy's shoulder and waits for him to calm down before continuing. "Wonwoo is okay. He's not in critical condition and we managed to stabilize him. He needs to be further observed, although you can visit him soon. But...."

"But what?" Mingyu stares at him, eyes wide and hopeful, and a flash of sadness is shown on Soonyoung's face. It lasts for a brief second, but it disappears just as fast as it appeared and Soonyoung tries to not choke as he speaks.

"You heard what happened, didn't you? The damages to his brain are, fortunately, not dangerous enough to deliver life-threatening effects. The thing is.... look, Mingyu, it's- ugh, I don't know how to say this."

"What's wrong? Hyung, you need to tell me what's wrong!" Mingyu sounds angry and he's shaking Soonyoung violently, but the surgeon can't blame the other for feeling like this. He's trembling too, of course it affects him. Even if he didn't get to meet Wonwoo until the later years of high school, they quickly became best friends and confided in each other. Soonyoung takes a look at Mingyu, and he knows that there's no use for him to stay quiet.

"Wonwoo's in a coma! He's in a fucking coma! Don't ask me when he'll wake up because I don't know, Mingyu, I don't have a fucking clue. It could be three days, three months, three years. It could be never. None of us know, so just.... just have hope, alright?" Soonyoung's voice broke at the last syllables, noticing how Mingyu's hands are by his sides, balled into tight fists. He's oddly silent, and Soonyoung can do nothing but patting the boy's shoulder sympathetically, mentioning that Wonwoo's in room 406 before walking back to his office. 

Mingyu stands there, half wanting to cry and the other half wanting to scream in frustration. Wonwoo is alive, alright, but it doesn't matter now. The future is cloudy, it's uncertain, it's scary. What if he never wakes up? There are so many things Mingyu wants to do with Wonwoo, but what if? His mind is filled with dark, horrifying thoughts and Mingyu almost didn't want to visit Wonwoo, because he's scared that he wouldn't be able to hold it back. He forces down the growing lump in his throat as he dials both his and Wonwoo's parents on the phone. Wonwoo's mom is bawling and Mingyu doesn't know what to do. He feels guilty, he promised that he'd protect Wonwoo with all he has but there it is, his boyfriend is lying on a hospital bed and there is no guarantee if he'll ever wake up. He hears his dad taking the phone away from Wonwoo's mom before coming on the speaker, his voice reassuring that Wonwoo will be just fine, and that they'll immediately come to visit as soon as they're back from their trip. Mingyu wordlessly nods and ends the call, not knowing what else he could say.

The trip to the fourth floor is dreadful and lonely. Mingyu stands outside of room 406, knowing that the moment he steps in he's going to break down. But he wills himself to stay strong, because he knows Wonwoo wouldn't like it. Wonwoo never liked it when he was sad. He slides the door open and there's Wonwoo, lying peacefully on the bed. Mingyu feels emotions rising in him again, cursing himself for not being able to protect the one he loves the most. The door is closed just as quiet as how it was opened, and the taller boy drops down to the chair besides the bed, eyes watching his lover. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of their lives, yet Wonwoo's here, hooked up to the machines and not responding. Mingyu gently grabs Wonwoo's hand, a drop of tear falling on the white bedsheet.

"Darn it, Wonwoo. It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know? You were supposed to come home and eat dinner with me and then hear my proposal and become my fiance and I was supposed to kiss you while trying to stop you from crying too much because you're too happy and...and... ugh, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Darn." Mingyu's voice broke and he's crying now, his hand grasping Wonwoo's tightly, afraid that Wonwoo will leave his side forever. He sniffs through his tears and laughs bitterly.

"Ah, this is so embarrassing. I shouldn't be crying. I've promised that I will always be strong to protect you, you remember that right? How your dad made me said it before he agreed to let me date you? How you laughed at me for it when we came home after dinner? But I couldn't do it, I couldn't keep you safe. You know, you're everything to me, so you need to stay strong, alright? Fight for your family, your friends, for me, for yourself, for us. I'll fight too. I'll stay strong and wait for you. This ring, the ring that I wanted to give to you today, I'll give it to you when you wake up." Mingyu knows his feelings can't be responded to, but he hopes that somewhere in the unconscious, they're able to reach Wonwoo.

"So... yeah.... wake up soon, okay? Come back to me soon."

\-----

It's been more than a month.

Wonwoo has been asleep for more than a month. Friends and family come to visit every single day, talking to him and telling him what's going on in their daily lives. A sad, gloomy web all hang over their hearts, but if anything, they try not to show it. Wonwoo's mom was smiling when she told him how his younger brother scored the highest grades in his midterm exams, despite the tears and her shaking hands as she looks at her son and knows that he can't respond to her. Mingyu sees this and tells himself that he needs to be stronger so he can support everybody else.

Even then, his heart breaks a little at how each day passes by, and Wonwoo still shows no sign of waking up. Soonyoung comes by once a week for a checkup, and although he said Wonwoo's behaving normally and shows no danger, Mingyu is still frustrated. Angry, almost. But he knows he can't blame Soonyoung. The surgeon already did the best that he could and now they can only hope. They can only believe in Wonwoo. 

Mingyu always visit Wonwoo after work, and even sleep there during the weekends. He wants to be the first one to see his boyfriend wakes up. Perhaps it's a bit selfish, but maybe the others will understand. They know how precious Wonwoo is, how much he means to the taller boy.

When Mingyu is there with Wonwoo, sometimes he'd simply look at him, observing the features of the man he had vowed to devote his life to. Sometimes he'd take out the engagement ring, imagining the surprise and happiness on Wonwoo's face when he proposes to him. Sometimes he'd cry, sobbing while whispering repeatedly for Wonwoo to wake up. 

Sometimes, he'd just fall asleep right by the bed, holding the hand of the one he loves. In his dream, Mingyu dreams of a happy family, his family with Wonwoo.

\-----

Mingyu has been counting the days too.

On what he's pretty sure is day 47, he thought he saw the slight twitch of a pinky finger, but shook it off as a hallucination.

On day 48, he fell asleep by Wonwoo's bed again. He dreams of Wonwoo's petite hand ruffling through his hair, the way he used to do it when they were just little kids.

On day 49, he was so sure he heard a light whisper in his ears when he was sleeping. It's Wonwoo's voice, saying "I love you" like how he always does. Mingyu's lips curves up into a smile as he sleeps.

On the morning of day 50, he wakes up to something resting on top of his hand. Mingyu rubs his eyes open, and the first thing he sees is Wonwoo. It's Wonwoo, like always. His face is a bit pale, but it's Wonwoo. It's Wonwoo, awake and smiling weakly at his love, his hand resting on top of the taller boy's.

It took awhile for the realization to dawn on Mingyu, but when it does, he finds himself crying again. His face is buried into the sheets so Wonwoo can't see that he's crying, but he knows the elder can tell anyway. His emotions are a mix of happiness, relief, bewilderment, everything that he can think of. Wonwoo is here, he's here, the love of his love is here. It has taken a long time, but he's here. Mingyu vows to never let him go again, to never let him slip away again.

"Why are you crying? I'm awake, aren't I?" Wonwoo's voice is hoarse after not speaking for so long, but there's a teasing tone to it and Mingyu just really wants to kiss it off. Instead, he wipes his tears away and smiles, his first real smile ever since Wonwoo's accident.

"Darn it, you... do you know how scared I was? I was terrified, scared of the idea that you'd never wake up again. I hated myself for not being able to protect you, even if I knew I couldn't have been there in time. You're so important to me, I can't stand the thought of losing you forever." Wonwoo squeezes his boyfriend's hand at that, warmth reflected in his eyes as he watches Mingyu.

"It was an unfortunate accident, not something that you should blame yourself over. And you know, you're my everything as well. I won't ever leave your side, no matter what happens." Mingyu's eyes sparkles and he bends down to press a soft kiss on Wonwoo's lips, his mouth slightly hurting from smiling so wide.

"You'd better keep up your promise, Mr. Jeon." The taller boy whispers, causing a small giggle to escape Wonwoo's lips.

"And you too, Mr. Kim. You should know that I won't ever forgive you if you break your promise." He laughs, and Mingyu wipes it off his face with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sxrenb) while i scream about yanren and whether or not i should make a bikan au


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